Hi readers! I recently wrote a guest blog post for my favorite gym in the world, Mark Fisher Fitness. If you haven't heard of them... FOLLOW THIS LINK! They are the most loving, caring, knowledgeable, zany, ridiculous gym you will ever find. Working with them is a piece of what inspired me to become a coach. I’m teaching a workshop with them Feb 25 2018 11am in NYC.
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Before we start today, I need you to get a VERY clear mental picture of the life coach who is currently writing this blog.
I’m a grown man, makeup covering my face, shirtless, in a pair of flesh toned tights looking like a strange version of a naked Barbie doll
So how did I get here and why the hell am I writing a blog in this state? VERY good questions, friend.
The answer is: I discovered some secrets of life in my journey to this place and I’m here to share them with you. Those secrets are:
- We SHOW UP when we allow ourselves to play.
- We all have voices in our heads.
- We can choose which voice to empower— and that makes all the difference in the world.
First, let’s back up a few years…
Category Is: Flashback
There I am, a very non-dancer in an audition room full of Broadway’s best male dancers all vying for six coveted roles in a highly hyped show coming to Broadway.
The Tony Award-winning director/choreographer shows us the dance combination. The first bit I can totally do.
“Whew, I got this. Maybe I won’t blow it like I do most dance calls.”
Then… Then comes a double pirouette (which I can’t do) into a cartwheel (which I can’t do) into the splits (which I DEFINITELY can’t do).
A lump forms in my throat, a knot grows in my stomach and an all too familiar voice whispers in my ear, “You can’t do this. You’re gonna to look so stupid. You should just grab your bag, duck out of the room and go home right now.”
I instinctively feel my hands reach for my bag as my eyes search for an escape route when out of nowhere another voice dials in, “Hey Kyle, you are not quitting. You can either finish this dance call, not look like everyone else and HATE every second of it, or you can finish this dance call, not look like everyone else and find a way to have FUN.”
I quickly grab a piece of gum out of my bag. When we get called to do the dance in groups of three with everyone watching, I pop the piece of gum in my mouth and start chomping for the gods. I happily chomp through the first section that I could do, creating a fun ditzy character on the spot.
When it comes to the pirouette-cartwheel-splits trifecta from hell… I stand in the dead center of the room, pull the gum out of my mouth and twist it around my fingers squawking, “Wooooork giiiiirl,” as I watch the other two dancers around me successfully nail the bit I couldn’t dream of doing.
I finish the audition and turn to my friend with a grin and say, “I’m either going to book this, or never work in this town again.”
Little did I know, that decision not to quit and decide to have fun would land me a role as an original Angel in Kinky Boots on Broadway where I currently sit in naked Barbie regalia writing this blog.
The moment I realized I had a CHOICE which voice to empower is what inspired me to become a trained life coach. My goal is to help people quiet the vampire voices, empower their inner badass, and chomp their proverbial gum towards living a life they adore.
So let’s unpack three life secrets I learned from that audition, shall we?
Have Fun in the Face of Fear
We show up when we grant ourselves permission to play. Wait, pause the TIVO. Rewind.
This is a big one and one of the reasons I love Mark Fisher Fitness so much. They excel at this.
Playing, having fun, and acting like a little kid releases our need to get it right. It opens up a new space in our minds and bodies to explore, and that’s a big fucking deal.
It’s not just about physically showing up: to work, auditions, first dates, the gym. It’s about showing up as our authentic, vulnerable, quirky, colorful, funky, perfectly imperfect selves.
The bigger the fear we face, the more we instinctively want to shrink away from it. Remember that moment before doing your first heavy-ass deadlift?
But what I learned in that gum-chomp moment was that finding a way to have FUN in the face of fear allows us to access all of the things we love about ourselves and that shit is infectious.
The confidence in showing up as your playful, authentic self is like a magnet for what you want. And it’s visible to everyone around you.
Imagine something you’re facing right now that sounds daunting. What would it be like to grant yourself permission to play?!
We All Have Voices
We all have voices in our heads – one voice that tells us we suck and another that tells us the opposite.
Call it what you want: a saboteur, gremlin, vampire, inner critic. Every human being since the dawn of time has an internal voice that whispers nasty things about ourselves.
Mine told me I was going to look dumb so I should quit. That voice’s purpose is to keep us from rocking the boat and it will be with us until we die. The closer we get to what we really want, the louder that voice gets.
The good news is – there’s another voice. Some call it their inner leader, higher voice, captain, or superhero. It’s a voice of wisdom, clarity, courage and compassion.
This is the voice in your mind and heart that has been there and back again and believes in you completely. It’s been with you your entire life and is as much a part of you as the gremlins.
This voice told me, “You’re not quitting, take a risk show them who you really are.”
You Change the World When You Change Your Voice
Choosing which voice to empower makes all the difference in the world. We are not the voices in our heads, and the voices are not the absolute truth. They’re just that, voices.
But here’s the thing, when we’re aware of what they are, we have a choice which voice to empower. Had I listened to my self-sabotaging voice, there’s a good chance I wouldn’t be backstage at Kinky Boots writing this to you. And there’s absolutely no chance I would have allowed myself to grab that piece of gum and have fun in the face of fear.
The more conscious of each voice we become, the more of a weekly, daily, hourly—on a moment’s notice—CHOICE we have over which voice to give power to.
What do you want in life? What are the voices in your head saying about that desire? Which voice will empower you the most? And what difference would it make to add some fun and play along the way?
Want some help with those voices?